Feral Flu
by Nidonemo
Summary: The Feral One comes down with a horrible flu, and it seems that the Yagudo are celebrating...


"Feral Flu"

By Nidonemo

(The Techography Linkshell House)

(Nido's room)

Empty tissue boxes, paper towel rolls and empty bottles of Kazham Punch litter the floor; the nearby trashcan is filled with soggy tissues and some substance that smells awful and should not be described. Nido lies in his bed, staring at the ceiling. Eyes bloodshot, nose running, and eyes crusted with sleep. He moans in pain and holds his head. His normal and vibrant blue hair now faded and disheveled. His door is slowly pushed open and a blue Rooster enters, towing a small wagon behind him, filled with tissue boxes, fresh paper towels and full bottles of fruit juices.

"Thangs Misder Sbringles..." the small Tarutaru coughed.

A Hume in Dark Knight Artifact Armor knocks on the door and pokes his head in.

"Heya Nido buddy, how you holding up dude?" he asked.

Before a response could be made, Nido jerked over to his trash can and vomited into it, thus adding to the awful smell of the room. The Dark Knight's eye twitched and he looked a bit grossed out.

"Oh...okay...well I guess that answers _that_ question...can I get you anything?" the Dark Knight asked, trying to hold back his nausea.

The Tarutaru moaned and looked up at the Dark Knight.

"Thangs...I'm ogay...Corian..." the Tarutaru wheezed.

Corian looked around the room, his nausea rising. He walked over to Nido's trash can and tried his best not to look inside as he picked it up.

"Um...how about I get you a fresh bag?" Corian offered, as he picked up and closed the foul-smelling package without vomiting himself.

Nido looked up, a small drop of mucus dripping from his nose.

"Thangs so much...hey, waid...why are you...in your armor?" The out-of-breath Tarutaru asked as Corian was tying up the horrid-smelling trash bag.

"Oh, well a few of my friends wanted to do a BCNM, and I wanted to check on you before I left, but seeing how you are, I think I'd better cancel." Corian explained, hoisting the bag out of the can.

"Oh, no, I couldn't led you miss a chance to earn Gil or idems! Go, I'll be fine..." Nido protested, coughing.

Corian simply smirked and headed for the door.

"With that flu? I think not." Corian replied.

Nido wiped his forehead and sat up.

"Bud I have Misder Sbringles to helb me..." Nido explained, pointing at the blue Rooster, who was having trouble unloading a box of tissues from the wagon behind him.

Corian looked at Nido with a raised eyebrow and shook his head.

"I'll be right back after I...throw this out...and I'll bring some San d'Orian Tea. It's said to ease throat pain. Just lay back and relax." Corian said as he left the room.

As Corian left, a red-haired Tarutaru knocked on the door. Nido looked up and smiled weakly.

"Hey...Darcia...how are ya..." Nido sneezed and fumbled for a tissue.

The brother of the Feral One looked around the room and did his best to hide his nausea, as Corian did before him.

"Heya bro...just heard that you came down with a cold or something." Darcia said, smiling sympathetically.

"I hab the Valdeaunian Flu..." Nido replied, wiping his nose.

"Wow...that's serious...where do you think you got it?" Darcia asked, leaning against Nido's doorframe.

Nido looked up at the ceiling and thought, trying to ignore the pounding headache that was currently threatening to split his very skull.

(Flashback)

Nido and an Elvaan Thief are standing in the West Garden of Castle Oztroja. A dead Meat Maggot lies before them. The Thief starts laughing.

"Hahahahahaha! Meat Maggot? More like M-" the Thief started.

"Don't you _dare_ finish that sentence if you know what's good for you..." Nido growled, his eye twitching.

The Thief stopped laughing immediately.

"Oh, uh, sorry dude...didn't mean to offend." the Thief apologized.

Suddenly the Meat Maggot's carcass started to twitch and muffled gurgling noises emanated from the rotting body. Nido and the Thief turned around.

"What the..." Nido started.

Before either one of the adventurers could react, the carcass bulged and burst. With quick thinking, the Thief dodged out of the way, the Feral Tarutaru, however, wasn't as lucky. A disgusting, purple, slimy, mucus substance drenched Nido,

covering him from head to foot. Nido simply stood there, dripping with the purple snot and so disgusted he was stunned. The Thief stared, both nauseated and startled.

"Dude...are you...okay?" the Thief asked, slowly approaching the now-purple Tarutaru.

"Y-yeah...I just need a bath..." Nido responded.

(Present Time)

Darcia nodded.

"I see, so you were infected by a 'Hot Maggot'. There have been cases of that going around. Thank goodness there's a cure being developed." Darcia said, smiling.

Nido looked up, his bloodshot eyes tearing up.

"What...do you mean...by...'being developed'!" he hoarsely exclaimed.

Darcia looked nervous.

"Well, the disease has only just been found out and there isn't a definite cure yet..." Darcia explained.

Nido moaned and lay back down, rubbing his forehead. Mister Sprinkles jumped up on the bed with an Insta-Thermo Rod.

"Thangs Misther Springles..." Nido whispered.

He took the Insta-Thermo Rod and placed it into his mouth, then Mister Sprinkles took it out of his mouth five seconds later and took a look at it.

"Brrrrroooo..." the blue Rooster cooed worriedly.

"One hundred and five? Unnngh crab..." Moaned the Tarutaru. "Oh Darcia...could you do me a favor..."

"Yeah bro?"

"Could you go durn down the sdereo? Thad drum CD is maging my head hurd worse..." Nido wheezed as he sneezed once more.

"Stereo? Drum CD?" Darcia asked, confused.

Darcia went to the window and pushed the blinds to one side. His eyes went wide and his left eyelid twitched.

"Oh...for the love of..." he mumbled.

Outside on the side lawn of the Techography Linkshell house were lines and lines of Yagudo. Some holding up signs, some dancing, some even in booths selling refreshments. The majority of the beastmen were gathered in the center of the lawn dancing and chanting while others pounded on drums.

"**BAR**-vi-**RU**-na! **BAR**-vi-**RU**-na! Biii-_oh!_ Biiii-**_OH!_****BAR**-vi-**RU**-na! **BAR**-vi-**RU**-na! Biiii-_oh!_ Biiii-**_OH!_**" chanted the dancing Yagudo.

Nido moaned and turned over in his bed, taking a pillow and covering his face.

"Mag them durn id down..." he wheezed from under the pillow.

"Bro, how long have they been out there?" Darcia asked, turning to the bed.

"Aboud three days...whad? Is the balloon guy oud there? He said he'd give me a balloon doday if I vomided oud the window..." Nido explained weakly as he crawled up to the windowsill.

"Dude! They're _PROFITING_ off your misery! Aren't you in the least bit pissed!" Darcia exclaimed.

"Well I was when I firsd heard aboud id, bud then the Yagudo selling the sodas and d-shirds said he'd cud me in ad fifdy percend, because he said he feld sorry thad I was sig..."

Darcia sighed and looked out the window again and saw the Yagudo were setting up what looked to be a wet feathers contest.

"Whad? Thad's good gil! -_snrrrk_- You know I've been saving for thad Dornado sgroll, begause no one things id's smard do go and ged the sgroll off the Prelade! Oh Nido wands do save some _giiiiiil_, oh Nido doesn'd wanna _farrrm_, oh Nido wands do save some _diiiime_, oh Nido's jusd _laaaazy_...well why do you thing I was farming in thad garden anyway? For my health? Now loog ad me! You see! Thid id _**JUSD**_ the kind of thing thad mags peoble wanna buy gil!" the Tarutaru ranted.

Before Darcia could protest, a Tarutaru with a harp on his back entered the room, four more Tarutaru behind him. Nido sat up and smiled.

"Hey Riggi, hey Ebilfogs, hey Nemrod, hey Misder and Missesjingles...thangs for coming...-snrrrf-"

Rikyiko smiled and waved, Evilphox and Nemrott went to the window and Misterjingles and Missezjingles went up to the bed.

"What's going on out there?" asked Nemrott, as he made room next to Darcia "We came in the front and heard all this music."

"Yeah, sounded like a fair was next door." Added Evilphox.

"Are you feeling better Niisan?" asked Rikyiko "That loud music can't be good for you..."

"We heard you fell ill from a Crawler at Oztroja." Misterjingles explained.

"So we all pitched in and got you a stack of your favorite fireworks." added Missezjingles, as she placed a box on Nido's bed.

"Oh wow, you guys are wonderful. Thangs!" Nido said as he opened the box and lifted out a tiny red cube.

Nido set the cube on his blanket and winded up the handle on the side. It spun slowly and then the lid of the cube popped open and a tiny goblin shot into the air. As the goblin fell back to the ground, a brightly woven, multicolored parachute opened and he sailed slowly down back into his cube again.

"Sweed! Air-Riders! Oh you guys remembered, thangs a lod!" Nido thanked them as he clapped his hands.

"No prob dude. Glad to see you're happy." Nemrott smiled.

"So what's with the Yagudo festival next door?" Evilphox asked.

"Yagudo festival? Lemme see..." Rikyko said as he made his way to the window.

Rikyko's eyes went wide when he saw the Yagudo spraying each other with the hose and hurling water balloons. He looked at Nido then out the window again.

"What the _hell_ is going on out there?" Rikyiko exclaimed.

"The Yagudo are holding a festival to celebrate Nido's little flu, and he's getting fifty percent of the profits." Darcia explained, rolling his eyes.

"Yeb, and if I vomid oud the window doday, the balloon guy's gonna gib me a free balloon." Nido said smiling.

Rikyiko, Missezjingles, Misterjingles, Nemrott, and Evilphox all simply stared at Nido in disbelief.

"He says it's good gil, and he's saving up for that scroll of Tornado magic..." Darcia said.

"_**WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!**_" Whooped a familiar voice from outside.

"Now what?" Nemrott said, pushing Rikyiko to the side, who was still in disbelief.

Outside an Elvaan with black hair was spraying some Yagudo with the garden hose as they playfully threw water balloons in retaliation. Darcia looked out the window and did a double take. He pushed Nemrott and Evilphox out of the way and climbed up into the windowsill, slid open the window and poked his head outside.

"**_CHRIAS!_**" Darcia shouted.

The Elvaan looked to Nido's window and waved at Darcia.

"Hey Darcia, come on out! It's fun!" Chrias laughed.

"CHRIAS! YOU DIRTY BASTARD! HOW **_DARE_** YOU! HOW CAN YOU PARTAKE IN THE FESTIVITIES OF THOSE WHO ARE CELEBRATING THE SICKNESS AND DISCOMFORT OF ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS? MY BROTHER! HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF! HAVE YOU **_HONOR?_** HAVE YOU NO **_DIGNITY!_**" Darcia screamed, completely infuriated.

"It's easy! I'm an Elvaan!" Chrias smiled and waved and went back to drenching the Yagudo, who were scrambling for more water balloons.

"Why that dirty double-crossing sonofa..." Darcia muttered as he slammed the window shut and hopped off the windowsill.

"Where are you...hang on..." Nido started,

Nido snatched up a tissue and sneezed into it, blew his nose, and tossed the dripping and soggy mass into the nearly-full wastebasket by his bed. Everyone in the room gagged.

"Whew...thad's bedder...where are you going?" Nido asked Darcia.

"I think it's time to crash the party, who's in?" Darcia said, looking around the room.

Rikyiko, Nemrott, Evilphox and Missezjingles all raised their hands. Darcia narrowed his eyes at Misterjingles.

"Well?" Darcia crossed his arms.

"I actually think it's a good business plan." Misterjingles said, smiling.

Missezjingles promptly slapped Misterjingles across the face.

"Um...I mean, I'm in too...ow..." Misterjingles said, rubbing his cheek.

"Good, now let's stop that festival the only way possible! Senseless violence!" Darcia exclaimed.

The Tarutarus let out a triumphant cry and rushed out of the room as Daron entered, nearly tripping over Evilphox as he raced out.

"Woahhh where's the fire, or should I say, where's it being started?" Daron laughed as he entered the room.

"-_Snrrrrrrrk_- Hey Daron..." Nido smiled.

"How you feeling?" the blonde Hume asked.

Nido shook his head and grabbed another tissue as he let loose another disgusting and mucus-filled blowing. Daron held back a gag.

"Wow you sound wonderful!" Daron said.

Nido glared at him and coughed.

"Very fuddy..." Nido smirked.

Corian returned with a tray in his hands. On top of it was a shiny ceramic teapot and a small ceramic mug. Behind Corian followed Chihiru, a small flower in her paws.

"Okay little buddy, here's your tea and be careful, it's hot." Corian said as he set the tray down in front of Nido.

"Thangs a lod Corian, hello Chihiru, so nide do see you." said the Tarutaru giving a small wave to the Mithra.

"Hello Nido, I'm sorry you're not well today. I brought you something to help you feel better." said Chihiru as she approached the bed.

The Mithra knelt down by the bed and held up the small yellow flower.

"It's a remedy passed down in my family, you place a Dahlia under the mattress of someone who is ill, and in a few days the illness should be gone." Chihiru explained as she carefully put the Dahlia under the mattress.

"Oh wow, thangs a lod!" Nido said, grinning.

Chihiru smiled and helped Corian replace the trash bag next to Nido's bed.

"Oh no no no, I'll ged thad." Nido protested, as he started to get up.

"No Nido, you just sit and drink your tea, you need to rest." Corian said as he lifted the trash bag.

"Yes Nido, and the Dahlia remedy only works when the patient is resting in bed like they should be." Chihiru explained.

Just then some loud shouting came from outside and Nido peeped out the window to investigate.

"What's going on outside? Sounds like a war just..." Corian looked at Chihiru, and they both went to the window.

In the middle of the side yard, Darcia, Misterjingles, Missezjingles, Rikyiko, Nemrott, Evilphox and Mister Sprinkles had assembled into a circle with Darcia in the front. Nido opened the window so he could hear what was going on.

"Attention Yagudo! You are trespassing on the land of the Techography Linkshell! Vacate the premises this instant, or face death!" Darcia called out.

The Yagudo merely laughed and returned to their recreation, Darcia didn't look surprised.

"Very well then...you leave us no choice..." he said, reaching for his wand.

Darcia lifted his wand to the air and let out a shrill battle cry, and the entire group rushed forward. Rikyiko lifted his flute to his lips and a slow song emanated forth. At that moment, Mister Sprinkles jumped upon Rikyiko's shoulders and spread his wings, the song became louder and suddenly every Yagudo in the area fell asleep. Nemrott and Evilphox rushed forward and both Tarutaru lifted their bows and released a volley of arrows into the air, which then came down upon the sleeping Yagudo, killing hundreds at a time. The two Tarutaru high-fived and looked over to where Misterjingles and Missezjingles were standing. The two Tarutaru were surrounded by Yagudo, just then, Missezjingles held up her hands.

"Wait, this is awful! Just look at us! We're fighting over some trivial matter and there's a young Tarutaru in that house, and he's very, very sick. He's so miserable and we're all being selfish...we're only thinking of ourselves. He needs our love, and our help. He needs all the positive energy he can get to get better." Missezjingles said, looking down ashamed.

"I agree, what we're doing is horrible..." Misterjingles started, "We're so incredibly selfish...he needs us all right now."

The Yagudo looked at each other and started to cry. Some held each other as they wept, others fell to their knees and wailed in guilt. Misterjingles shook his head.

"There's not just one evil here, not only have we been selfish and just thought of our own selves, there's also the matter of **_CHAINSPELL! STONEGA! FIRAGA! THUNDAGA!_**"

Suddenly the earth below the Yagudo erupted in violent tremors, smashing the Yagudo as fire burst forth from the very air, fiercely burning the beastmen, as lightning came down from the sky and struck each individual Yagudo, further increasing their pain and horrible agony. They screamed and ran about, fanning the flames of their burning bodies and colliding into each other, some falling to the ground, dead from the intense pain. Some not even able to move due to their limbs being shattered and the internal bleeding. Some could not move nor speak, for the electric shock was so intense it had paralyzed them into silent suffering.

"Was I good dear?" Missezjingles asked, turning to Misterjingles.

"Baby, you were beautiful! Flawless." Misterjingles said as the Tarutaru smiled and rubbed noses.

Darcia was standing on Chrias' back, strangling the Elvaan with the garden hose.

"You slimy...good for nothing...son of a...you wanna play with the hose? YOU WANNA PLAY WITH THE HOSE? LET'S PLAY! LET'S PLAY WITH THE _**FUCKING**_ HOSE!" Darcia growled and screamed, as Chrias struggled to breathe.

Rikyiko ran by, several Yagudo behind him. Ahead of him, Mister Sprinkles ran towards him, more Yagudo behind the Rooster as well. As they passed each other, Rikyiko unsheathed his dagger and held it upward.

"CROSS SLICING OBLIVION!" The bard shouted.

"BRAAAK KOO KOO KURARUU!" Crowed Mr. Sprinkles.

Suddenly the Yagudo behind both Mr. Sprinkles and Rikyiko were pulled into each other and hurled into the air, where they all were sliced into tiny bloody bits as they screamed in agony in a brilliant explosion of light and gore.

"Sweet! Nice job little buddy!" Rikyiko said smiling.

"Kooroo!" Mister Sprinkles laughed.

Nido looked out the window at all the fighting going on and smiled.

"Wow, this is almosd as enderdaining as thad dime we pud a Rarab in Chrias' room..." Nido said.

(Flashback)

Nido, Darcia, Rakey, Nayru, Kayti, Agarwaen, Elefteria and Alessandra are in the hallway trying not to laugh, Chrias is standing in front of them, clearly very angry.

"I don't know who did it...but I wanna know who did. It's disgusting, it's inappropriate, it's foul, it's immature, and it's unhygienic." Chrias said, putting his hands on his hips, and looking at each Linkshell member as they did their best to keep from giggling.

"A kick-me sign, okay, Some old pamama peels under my pillow, fine, but _THIS!_" Chrias exclaimed as he pulled a bloody severed Rarab's head from behind his back.

At this everyone but Chrias burst out laughing, Chrias just looked more annoyed.

(Present Time)

As the three warriors gazed out the window at the war going on in their side yard, Asiaine came in with a bag of ginger cookies and a carton of chocomilk.

"Hello Nido, I brought cookies for you!" the Elvaan said, smiling.

"Oh wow thangs, hey come see Darcia! He's really giving the Yagudo hell!" Nido said, motioning to the window.

"Huh? What's going on out there? I heard screaming earlier..." Asiaine said as she placed the cookies and chocomilk on the nightstand, and headed to the window.

Outside, Darcia is standing in the center of a ring of Yagudo. They start to advance in upon him.

"Those who mock my brother and profit off of his misery shall pay with their lives...FEAR MY WRATH! BOW DOWN TO MY POWER! **_TARUTARU POR SIEMPRE!_**" Darcia exclaimed.

The Yagudo crouched down, ready to strike and Darcia clapped his hands and began chanting.

"_Miseria del infectada_..." mumbled Darcia, as the sky suddenly turned dark.

The Yagudo looked up, then at each other. One started rubbing his stomach uncomfortably.

"..._sufrimiento y muerte_..." Darcia said, his eyes rolling back into his head.

Some Yagudo started to look a little scared, and some grasped their stomachs and gripped their heads, groaning in pain.

"..._enfermedad y dolor extremos!_" Darcia cried, his eyes turning red.

The Yagudo now screamed in agony, falling to their knees, and screaming in intense pain. Some vomited blood, as others started to rip the very feathers from their own bodies, revealing horrible burns and boils. One Yagudo in particular grasped his stomach screaming as he defecated uncontrollably, and then fainted into his own filth.

"Woah...I didn't know Darcia could do that..." Chihiru gasped as she looked at Nido.

"I know, -_snifff_- his power is amazing..." Nido said, wiping his nose.

The Yagudo who did survive the ordeal were crawling about on the ground, moaning and disoriented. Darcia stood upon a corpse and looked out over the dead.

"Wretched birds..." he growled, "...now you know pain."

(Later that afternoon...)

A Galka and a Tarutaru are standing outside Nido's window. Nido is leaning on the windowsill, stroking Mister Sprinkles, who is half asleep in his arms. All four are looking out at the yard, surveying the damage.

"Wow...I can't believe how strong Darcia's magic has become...he's giving you a real run for the gil Nido." Rikyiko said

"Man, what a mess! What will we do with all these bodies?" asked Quakey, hands on his hips.

"Oh! Oh! I hab an idea!" Nido said, clapping his hands and eyes brightening.

(That Night...)

(Phate's Bedroom)

The room is completely dark and Phate is in bed snoring softly. There is a soft click noise then the scuffling of feet and muffled giggling.

"Phaaaaaate..._Phaaaaaate_...I've come for youuuu Phaaaaate!" came a dark demonic voice.

Phate awoke and sat up, startled.

"Who is it?" He asked the darkness.

"Phaaate, I cannot seeee, yet I can seee your _souuuuuuul!_" the demonic voice said.

Phate frantically reached for the light switch and turned it on, revealing a Yagudo standing at the front of his bed. The Yagudo had empty eye sockets and his beak was hanging open, one talon pointing at him. Phate's eyes widened.

"**_PHATE! I CANNOT SEE! GIVE ME YOUR EYES PHATE! SO I CAN SEE YOUR SUFFERING AS I CONSUME YOUR SOUL!_**" the demonic voice screamed.

(Outside the Linkshell house)

"**_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!_**"

End-


End file.
